With the city well and truly left behind for summer and for us students, the foreseeable future, we are now left with a vast period of that illusive thing called ‘time’ that we so desperately struggled to find throughout the entire academic year. Some of us may have holidays, internships and summer jobs to camouflage the natural fear of extensive quantities of time. But we’re not fooling anyone. Everyone knows that the desperate attempt to forget about time translates directly to an attempt to try and forget the crippling devastation over the temporary loss of our home – London.

And its understandable, because how does anyone possibly go about getting over the lovely city? How could anyone possibly adjust to life beyond the moving and shaking of the city. It’s consuming, vibrant and full of every kind of place you could ever want to be. And therefore, getting over London, even just for a temporary break up, is going to be pretty difficult. So with that said, I’m here to give the conclusive guide on going on a break with London, the love of your life.

Getting over people and cities is pretty much the same thing, so let’s start with the basics.

1. Get rid of their stuff. All of it. It’s time to have a clean out. Anything that reminds you of them has to go. Get hold of every old keep-sake, hoody and photograph. And put them straight in the bin. Any film or album that mentions their (annoyingly famous) name needs to go too. If bin-day is a over 3 days away, it’s time to get the fire-pit out. This still shouldn’t be left stewing on your doorstep. It’s time to create a clean-slate.

2. Stop doing things that remind you of them. No more buying expensive pints or getting an uber home. No more visiting city parks or using contactless payments on public transport. No more watching shows on week nights or eating a range of exciting culturally diverse food sourced from across the world. Anything you do in the city is banned. Completely.

3. Move on. It’s time to fall in love with you’re new lover, I mean home, in the most intense way possible. For me, being from a town in the North West where there is nothing to do, it’s time to really fall in love with doing nothing. Fall head over heels in love with watching paint dry while you desperately sit at the doorstep waiting for your friends and family to finish work. This is your life now – and you’re going to make it work.

With these 3 easy steps, you’ll be well over London in no time at all. And if they don’t? Well, in that case, the love is probably just. too. much. And, anyway, who am I to question that? I’m writing this on a direct train straight back to London.